Bhootiya Haweli just 4 fun
by Pooja Verma
Summary: This is a funny story. No summary. Pls read nd review.
1. Chapter 1

**_Bhootiya Hotel Part 1_**

Abhi ek jagah per baar baar tehal raha hai. tabhi wahan Daya aata hai.

Daya – kya baat hai Abhi... tum itne pareshan kyun ho?

Abhi – main kuch soch raha hoo.

Daya – haan ... wo Mr. Mehra wale case ke baare me na. Jise kisi ne dhamki di hai ki wo unke bete Sashi ko uski shadi se pehle kidnap kar lega.

Abhi – Mr. Mehra wale case ke bare me... are humari life me case ke alawa or kuch nahi hai kya? Are main... main shadi ke baare me soch raha hoo.

Daya – shadi ke baare me... are tum uski fikar mat karo ACP sir ne kaha hai ki Sashi ki shadi zarror hogi or hum sab uski shadi me barati bankar jaayenge.

Abhi – haan...bus dusro ki shadi me hi barati bankar nachte raho. Apno ke baare me mat sochna . are ye socho ki wo waqt kab ayega jab hum apne kisi CID officer ki shadi me barati bankar jaayenge.

Daya – tum kiski baat kar rahe ho?

Abhi – (Chidhkar) ACP sir ki.

Daya – ACP sir ki.

Abhi – haan maine socha hai ki Sashi ki shadi ke madap me hi unki shadi bhi krwa doo.

Daya – per unse shadi karega kaun?

Abhi – (Daya ko ghoorta hai) are mazak band karo yaar. Main apni shadi ki baat kar raha hoo..

Daya – Tarika ke saath.

Abhi – haan yaar Daya maine soch hai ki is Sunday ko use propose kar hi doo.

(Tabhi Vivek aata hai. )

Vivek – Sunday ko kcuh program banaya hai kya?

Daya – haan ... wo Abhi Sunday ko.

ACP – kya baaein ho rahi hai Daya.

Abhi – kuch nahi sir hum to bus yu hi...

ACP – ye Fredi kha hai? aaya nahi ab tak.

Vivek – sir wo Fredi sir aaj thoda der se aayenge. Unka phone aaya tha.

ACP – iske to roz ke nakhre hai. fus gaya hoga apni wife ke chakkar me.

(kuch der baad Fredi or Tasha bhi aa jaate hai.)

ACP – ab kuch kaam kare.

Fredi – khaak kaam kare sir subah se koi case nahi aaya hai humare paas.

ACP – are waah kya shehar me crime khtam ho gaya hai.

Fredi – per ab hum kya karenge sir baith kar makhiya mare.

(tabhi ek aadmi bhagta hua aata hai.)

ACP – are aap is tarah se bhagte huye kyun aa rahe hai?

Man – ji wo mujhe aapse kaam hai ACp sir.

Fredi – wah lagta hai Naya case hai.

Daya – accha aap ye bataiye ki aap kaun hai or humse kya chahte hai.

Chadda – ji mera naam Manmohan Chadda hai per sab pyaar se mujhe sirf Chadd bulate hai.

Abhi – hume kya log ise Chadda bulaye ya Hadda.

ACP – Abhi... haan to aap ye bataiye ki aap yahan ktyun aaye hai.

Chadda – ji main Hotel " Sun Shine" ka malik hoo. Mere hotel se...

Daya – Fredi tumne phir se Hotel ka bill nahi diya.

Fredi – nahi sir is bar khaana maine nahi Abhi sir ne mangwaya tha.

Daya – Abhi , tumne bill paid kyun nahi kiya?

Abhi – wo ... Daya main bhool gaya tha. Tum to jaante ho mujhe kabhi kabhi bhoolne ki aadat hai.

Daya – haan (Maan hi maan "Kanjoos Muft ka khaane ki aadat jo hai abhi mere saath hotel me kabhi Dr. tarika ke ghar per")

Abhi – Kuch kha tumne?

Daya – nahi to, bhool gaye thena. Accha Abhi wo forensic me jo lady dr. hai uska naam kya hai...

Abhi – wo Dr. Tarika.

Daya – haan uska naam to kabhi nahi bhoologe baaki saari baatein bhool jaoge. Hotel ka bill kyun nahi diya. Acchi tarah se sun lo main aaj hotel ka bill nahi dene wala.

ACP – tum log Beuro me hotel se khana mangwa kar khate ho or mujhe koi batata bhi nahi.

Chadda – are aap log to apne baato me hi lag gaye. Koi meri baat bhi sunega.

ACP – haan boliye.

Chaada – ACp sir main mere hotel ko bahut pyaar karta hoo.

Fredi – kyun tumhare paas wife nahi hai.

Chaada – hai per ... khir chodiye. Mera hotel ka business bahut accha chal raha tha. Her din dher saare customer aate the. Per achank ek din... kisi guest ne hotel me ye afwah faila di ki usne mere hotel me ek bhootani ko dekha hai.

Daya – bhootani...

Chadda – haan bhootani, uska kehna hai ki raat ko payal ki aawaz aati hai. kisi ladki ke kadmo ki aahat sunayee deti hai. safed kapro me koi ladki dikhayee deti hai.

Vivek – are , bewkoof banane ke liye hum logo ke alawa or koi nahi mila jo ek ghatiya si horror movie ki khani sunane chla aaya.

Abhi – haan, hud ho gayee jab se hum logo ne CID or Aahut ke mahaepisode shoots kiye hai tab se sab hume bhoot parne wala samjhne lage hai.

Chadda – aapko lgta hai ki main jhoot bol rha hoo. Are maine bhi khud apni aankho se use dekh ahi.

ACP – tumne apni aankho se us Bhootani ko dekha hai.

Chadda – haan ACp sir, ab aap log hi mujhe us bhootani se aazadi dil sakte hai.

Daya – accha ye bato ki wo bhootani dikhti kaisi hai?

Chadda – dikhti kaisi hai?

Daya – haan ... mera matlab tumne kuch to dekh hoga na uske baal aankhe chalo uska sketch banwao.

Chadda – sketch!

Daya – haan Sketch banwa doge to hume kaam karne me aasani hogi na ek baar me to kisi ka bhi chehra yaad ho jaata hai.

Chadda – ye aap kaisi baatein kar rahe hai. are wo Bhootani hai koi heroin nahi jo main uska sketch banwa doo. Waise bhi aapko use mere hotel se bhgane se matlab hai ya ye jaanane me ki wo dikhti kaisi hai.

Abhi – Daya her jgah apna famous dialog bolna zaroori hai. Sketch banwao...hoo.

ACP – are Chadda saheb matlab to aapke hotel se bhootani ko bhgane se hi hai. khair aap ghabraiye nahi aapka case solve ho jaayega. Ab aap jaaiye.

(Chadda chala jaata hai or ACP sir kuch sochne lagte hai.)

ACP – aise baher se to hum pta nahi kar paayenge ki us hotel me asal me ho kya rah hai. iske liye hum me se kisiek ko whan jakar rehna parega.

Abhi – (dhire se Daya se) dekhna ye pakka mera hi naam lenge.

Daya – accha per tumhe kaise pta?

Abhi – Are puri team me ek main hi to hoo bali ka bkra. Acp sir humesha mujhe hi to suli per chadha dete hai.

Daya – waise thik hi to hai. tum agle ACp banane wale ho.

Abhi – are zinda rahoonga tabhi to ACP banoonga na. Daya aisa karo merio zagah tum chale jaao.

Daya – per main kyun?

Abhi – kyunki meri abhi tak shadi nahi huyee hai or main kuwara nahi marna chahta.

Daya – bol to aise rahe jaise maine 10-10 shadiya kar rakhi hai. meri bhi shadi nahi huyee abhi tak.

Abhi – or kabhi hogi bhi nahi. Kyunki in 13 saalo me tumhari life me jitni zaldi ladkiya aai utni hi zaldi chali bhi gayee. Pehli wali ne tumhe dhokha de diya. Dr. Niyati Pradhan se tum larte reh gaye. Or Purbi... Purbi ko tumne khud chod diya.

Daya- tumhari wazah se.

ACP – ye tum dono ke beech kaisi khusur fusur ho rahi hai.

Daya – kuch nahi sir wo bus aise hi.

ACP – accha chodo, haan to Abhi maine soch hai ki tum guest bankar us hotel me chale jao or pata kro ki us bhootani ka chakkar kya hai?

Abhi – (Daya Se) Dekha... maine kha tha na.

Abhi – per sir main hi kyun? Her baar mujhe hi jaana parta hai. nahi is baar main nahi jaaunga.

ACP – Abhi agar tum nahi gaye to main Salunkhe ko keh dunga ki wo tumhe lab me na aane de.

Abhi – ACP sir ye to cheeting hai. thik hai main jaaunga.

(Abhi jaane ki taiyaari karta hai. )

Tasha – ye rakh lijiye sir.

Abhi – ye kya hai? koi romantic noble hai kya?

Tasha – nahi sir ye hunumaan chalisa hai. jab aapko daar lage na to ise padh lijiyega.

ACP – are Abhi tum sabse aise kyun mil rahe ho jaise tumhari bidaai ho rahi hai.

Fredi – pata nahi Abhi sir humse dubara milenge ya nahi.

(Fredi ki baatein sunkar Abhi daar jaata per phir bhi hotel jaane ke nikal jaata hai.)

(hotal me din bhar Abhi kokuch pata nahi chalta per raat ko jab wo sone ki kosis krta hai to use payal ki aawaz sunayee deti bahar nikal kar dekhta hai per use kuch dikhayee nahi deta. Tabhi payal ki aawaz phir se aati hai. abki baad Abhi ko safed saaari me ke ladki dikhayee deti hai. Abhi us taraf badhta hai. tabhi payal ki aawaz tez ho jaati hai or phir band ho jaati hai. Abhi us or badhta hai per use koi dikhayee nahi deta. Use zameen per ek payal milti hai. abhi ise utha leta hai or apne kamre me aakar sone ki kosis krta hai.)

(next day abhi beuro aata hai. sab use dekh kar khush hote hai)

ACP – are abhi tum wapus aa gaye.

FREDI – or wo bhi zinda.

ACP – Fredi... use chodo Abhi ye batao ki kuch pta chala.

Abhi – Han sir, wo Chadda bilkul thik keh raha hai. wahan us hotel me zaroor koi garbar hai. Raat me mujhe bhi kuch aisa laga. Or sir ye mujhe whan per ek payal mili.

FREDI – are bhootani ki payal.

ACP – Fredi bhootaniya aise her jagah payal nahi girati firti. Or agar wo suchmuch me bhootani hai to Abhi ko dekh ker bhagti nahi.

Tasha – sir, ye payal dekhiye kitni bhari hai. or isaper to kisi dukan ka logo bana hai.

ACP – good Vivek pata karo ki ye kis dukan la logo hai. or Abhi Daya tum dono us dukan per jakr pata karo ki ye payal kiski hai.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Bhootiya Hotel Part 2_**

(Vivek us dukan ka naam pata karta hai or Abhi Daya us dukan per jaate hai.)

Daya – suniye hum log CID se hai. is payal ko zara dekhiye or bataiye ki aapne ye payal kisake liye banayee thi.

Sunaar – thik hai. main bataata hoo.

(dukandar Daya or Abhi ko us jagah ka pta de deta hai jiske liye usne payal banwayee thi.)

(Daya or Abhi dono us pate ko lekar beuro aate hai.)

ACP – are Abhi pata chala ki ye payal kiski hai.

Daya – haan sir ye payal kisi Prbha naam ki ladki ke liye banayee gayee thi. Or ye raha uska pta.

Vivek – sir ye pta to...

ACP – haan Vivek... hum is pate per chalte hai.

(sab us pate per pahuchte hai wahan Chadda unhe dekh ker hairan ho jaata hai.)

ACP – Chadda ji aapki Chaddi... mera matlab aapki wife kidher hai.

Chadda – Prabha... kyun usase kya kaam hai aapko?

Fredi – sir maine khan tha na ki ye bhi mila hua hai. tabhi to jab Daya sir ise sketch banane ko kha to isane sketch nahi banwaya. Bhala koi apni wife ka chehra bhi kabhi bhool sakta hai.

Vivek – haan sir wife jaisi drawani cheej ki shakal koi kaise bhool sakta hai.

(Tabhi Prabha aa jaati hai.)

Parbha – kahiye kya kaam hai aap logo ko mujhse?

ACP – Prabha ji aapki payal kha hai?

Prabha – Payal wo to mere pairo me hai.

Tasha – accha... dikhana to. Are yahaa to sirf ek hi payal hai. ye ek pair me payal pehanane ka faishion kab se chalne laga?

Prabha – ek payal kahin gir gayee hogi.

ACP – humare paas hai. ise aap kal raat wahi bhool aayee thi us hotel me. Jab aap bhootani bankar ghoom rahi thi.

Parbha – main... ye aap kya keh rahe hai. main nahi to...

Tasha – accha hum jhoot bol rahe hai. (Tasha Prabha ko ek thappad lagati hai) ab such such batayegi ya or puja karoo teri.

Parbha – nahi main batati hoo. Mujhe koi bhootani wootani banane ka koi shaukh nahi tha. Wo to main apne boyfriend se milne us hotel me jaati thi. Ek raat is hotel ke kisi bewkoof customer ne mujhe dekh liya or shor macha diya bhoot bhoot. Tab mere boyfriend ne mujhe idea diya ki main is bhootani ka ye drama karne lgoo taki ye Chadda usi me uljha rahe or hum dono aasani se isake paise lekar bhag saku.

Chadda – kya? Tu mera paisa lekar bhagna chahti thi. ACP sir aap ise pakad lijiye or us aadmi ko bhi girftar kar lijiye.

Daya – thik hai ab aapko hume humara kaam batane ki zaroorat nahi.

(Sab Prabha se us aadmi ka pata lekar us aadmi ke ghar pahuchte hai. Sab us jagah phuchte haijahan wo aadmi rehta hai. whan drwaza band milta hai. Abhi bell bajat hai per Darwaza nahi khulta)

Daya – sir main tod doo.

ACP – are Daya itni zaldi kya hai darwaz todne ki. Abhi thodi der intzar kar lete hai.

(Abhi phir se bell bajata hai per koi darwaza nahi kholta)

ACP – chalo Daya kar lo apni khwahish puri.

(Daya khushi khushi darwaza todane ke liye jaata hai. wo jaise hi darwaza todane ke liye apna ek pir uthata hai thik usi waqt darwaza khul jaata hai or chot saamne wale aadmi ko lag jaati hai. or wo neeche gir jaata hai)

ACP – are Daya ye kya kiya tumne.

Daya – maine kya kiya sir. Amin to bus darwaza tod raha tha ye kambakhta na jaane kaha se aa gya. Darwaza bhi nahi toota.

Abhi – ab uthao ise. Tumhare pair se chot lagi hai itni jaldi to hosh me aayega nahi.

(sab use hosh me laane me lag jaate hai.)

Daya – yaar Abhi mere pair me khujli ho rahi hai.

Abhi – pair me khujli per kyun?

Daya – yaar Abhi tumhe to pata hai ki jab tak main her case me ek darwaza na tod loo kisi ko ek lafa na lga loo tab tak mujhe sukun nahi milta. Is case me to aisa kuch bhi nahi hua. Abhi – Daya dekho abhi kuch der intzar kar lo.

(Tabaadmi hosh me aa jaata hai.)

ACP – tasha Prabha ko lekar aao.

(Tasha Prbha ko lekar aati hai.)

ACP – Prabha ji ab aap ye bataiye ki kya tyahi hai wo aadmi aapka boyfriend.

Prabha – haan sir yahi hai Subhash.

Daya – Abhi ab mujhse brdast nahi hohai.

Daya – aas paas koi drwaza dekho opr use tod do.

(Daya ko paas me ek darwaz dikhayee det ahai or wo use tod det hai. sab ka dhyaan us or chala jaata hai. ye dekh kar Subhash Nachne lagta hai.)

Subhash – thod diya... thod diya.

Fredi – ACP sir lgta haI IS Subhas ki khisak gayee hai tabhi to apne ghar ka drwaza tootane per hus raha hai.

Tasha – aye tum pagal ho kya? Daya sir ne tumhare ghar ka darwaza tod diya or tum hus rahe ho.

Subhash – are inhone to meri madad ki hai. ab mujhe is kamre me rakhga khjana mil jayega jo meri dadi mere liye chod kar gayee thi.

Abhi – to ab tak tumne wo khjana nikal kyun nahi.

Subhash – kyunki is kamre ke tale ki chabhi kho gayee thi.

Fredi – to kisi ko bula kar tal toorwa dete.

Subhash – mere paas itne paise kha jomain is taale ko todn eper khrch karoo. Main to khudh is Prabha ke paiso per plta hoo. Ab inhone is kamre ka drwaza tod kar mera kaam aasan kar diya hai.

Prabha – he bhagwan... meri hi kismat aisi kyun hai jo mujhe ye do namune diye hai. ek mera wo bewkoof pati or dusra ye kanjoos BF.

Vivek – to ab jab Daya sir ne tumhara ye drwaza tod diya to tumhara nuksaan nahi hua.

Subhash – hua to per dekhiye na kitni saari l;akriya mil gayee. Daya sir... ek minut ek kaam or kar dijiye is darwaze Ko kuch or tukro me tod dijiye taki main inhe bajar me bech sakoo.

Daya – aye mujhe kaya badai samajh rakha hai. chal hut.

(Subhash ander jaata hai. Ander use kuch chithre (fute huye kapre) milte hai.)

Fredi – Sir agar ye khjana hai to accha hai ki meri dadi mere liye koi khjana nahi chod kar gayee.

(Subhas gusse me unhe utha kar baher fek deta hai. Tabhi unme se kuch heere girte hai. Sab unhe dekh kar chauk jaate hai. Subhash bahut kush hota hai.)

ACP – ab bahut kushi mana li baki ki khushi jail me chalkar manana. Vivek inhe lwe chlao.

(Vivek un dono ko lekar gari me baitane jaata hai. Baki sab piche piche aa rahe hai. Achanak Subhash Vivek ko dhakka dekar gari bhaga le jata hai. Sab piche daurate hai.)

Abhi – sir, wo to bhag gaye.

ACP – wo to mujhe bhi dikh raha hai. Per wo hamari gari lekar bhag gaye. Ab is umar me main mujrimo ka picha daur kar kaise karoonga.

Daya – ghabraiye mat sir ye log jyada door tak nahi ja paayenge. Kyunki gari me petrol nahi hai.

ACP – tab to thik hai. Per Daya tumne gari me petrol kyun nahi dalwaya agar humare kaam ke beech me hi petrol khtam ho jaata to.

Daya – (Gusse me) main kyun petrol dalwao. Pehle himuft ka driver bana rakha hai mujhe. Uper se petrol ke paise bhi nahi dete. Main kab tak apni zeb se bharwata rahoonga.

Vivek – sir, ye sab choriye abhi hume un logo ka picha karna chahiye aisa na ho ki wo log aage nikal jaaye.

(sab un logo ka daur ke picha karte hai. Kuch door per unhe wo gari mil jaati hai. ACP sir bahut khush hote hai.)

ACP – mil gayee gari.

Tasha – per sir wo dono kahan hai?

ACP – aas paas hi honge doondho.

Fredi – sir wo dekhiye wo log us kren per chadh kar building ki chat per jaana chahte hai.

Abhi – sir aas paas bahut building hai, wo is building per chadhaer bagal wali building per chadhna chahte haitaki humse bach jaaye.

ACP – Fredi niche utaro unhe.

(Fredi Kren ke operator cabin me jaakar kren ko niche krta hai. Prabha or Subhash dono niche chale aate hai. ACP sir kren per chadh jate hai.)

ACP – ab batao ki tum logo ne aisa kyun kiya?

Tasha – sir in logo ne aisa kyun kiya ye hume maloom hai hume to inse inka jurm kabool karwana hai.

ACP – haan…. Bhool gaya tha. Budhapa aa gaya hai na. Haan to ab tum dono apni zuban se batao ki tum dono ne aisa kiya hai.

Prabha – humne kuch bhi nahi kiya hai aap log hume fusane ki kosis kar rahe hai.

Daya – accha…. Lagta hai tum log aise nahi manoge.

(Daya unhe ek ek thappr lagata hai)

Prabha – bus ab or nahi. Main batati hoo. Main to isake kahe me aa gayee thi wrna main apne pati ka pisa kyun lekar bhagne ka plaan banati.

Subhash – nahi sir, such to ye hai ki isne mujhe fusaya hai. Pyaar ke naam per mujhe bewkoof banaya hai.

ACP – he bhgwan…. He bhgwan….. aisa pyaar dekhne se pehle mujhe utha le. Utha le mujhe.

(tabhi cren ACP sir ko lekar uper uthne lagti hai. ACP daar jaate hai)

ACP – bachao….. Daya…. ABHI….. bachao mujhe ….

Abhi – Fredi…. ACP sir ko niche utaro.

(Fredi ACP sir ko niche utarta hai.)

ACP – Fredi… bewkoof kyun kiya aisa?

Fredi – sir aap hi to humesha kehte rehte hai ki he bhagwaan utha le mujhe, to maine socha ki aaj main aapki ye khwahish puri kar doo.

ACP – Fredi…. Khair… Abhi le chalo in dono ko.

(Prabha apne pers se 500 ka note nikalti hai or Daya ko deti hai.)

Daya – ye kya CID ko rishwat or wo bhi sirf 500 rupaye.

Abhi – or kya? Hum kya itne gaye gujre hai.

Prbha – ye rishwat nahi hai. Ye rakh lijiye or gari me petrol dalwa lijiye. CID wale hokar bina petrol ki gari…. Accha lagta hai kya. Waise bhi main paidal beuro tak nahi jaaungi.

Fredi – sir le lijiye hum baad me de denge.

ACP – haan main bhi bahut thak gya hoo kum se kum beuro tak to gari me jaayenge./

(Daya Prbha se paise le leta hai or garime petrol dalwa kar wo sab beuro ki or chalte hai.)


End file.
